"Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play."
~ Heraclitus
Guess what? I'm steadily learning about the slippery slope of mind funk. My interpretation of what happens when loosing center, and allowing random negative thoughts to run wild, while taking me on a ride I had no intention of going on. Wow. Sounds like fun doesn't it? In, A Course in Miracles, it states,"...An untrained mind can accomplish nothing." My take on it? Fuck yeah. How true. Certain thought patterns can sneak up and reek havoc if one isn't vigilant. I mean really...really vigilant.
The thing about it is...is often times I can easily coast along thinking...feeling my life is all om shanti...(give me a break)...and that nothing is gonna rattle me. Well, in times of the unexpected, I received a litmus test of just how steadfast my mind really is. And, let me just say, I have alot of work to do...but, thank God all is not lost, and some progress has been made. A little bit. At least give me that....hahaha...(sigh).
Seriously though, I tend to judge myself harshly, and really what's the point in judging how I process shit? It simply takes practice, I guess.
Plans of going back to Taiwan may not be in the cards at the moment. Not sure. One thing is for certain, is things are not always for certain. At any rate, I'll be staying in Stockholm for another month trying to hack out a few leads here before I really do have to leave the country so I can then go through the process of re-entry to relocate permanently.
Sometimes I wish life was given to us in nice pretty little packages wrapped up beautifully with everything we've ever wanted, planned, hoped and dreamed for inside. But simply put, that isn't the case. And really, it's my ego that wants control...when in reality, there's a higher power that knows all...sees all, and really does know what's best for everybody. So silly me, somehow I seem to forget that I'm not in the driver's seat, so to speak...but, I can at least be at peace, and choose how to react to the changing scenery as a passenger.
If only it was that easy to hand over the steering wheel.
3 Insightful Comments:
You are doing really good Laruga :)
I find it good to remember that ego feeds on conflict. Without that it has no hope, nothing to sustain it at all.
So what better way than to go easy on ourself when we fall, just like you are doing now? After all, the ego has no response to love.
And when we accept ourselves exactly as we are right now (including all the ego's shinanegins) aren't we Home and dry?
There's loads of blessings winging you way. :)
Nick
: )
Thanks Nick...I appreciate your perspective and support. Bless you.
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